Week 19: This Ain’t Your Momma’s Bingo

B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and BinGLO was its nameo…wait what? Yup, I’m talking about Kozmik BinGLO, Sycuan Casino’s twist on your typical bingo night.

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When anyone brings up playing bingo at a casino, I envision little old retired ladies spending away their pension dollars and double fisting their markers (aka daubers) on a table full of paper game boards. One day in the far away future, I figured that I may become one of those sweet little old ladies. I had never played bingo at a casino, so what the heck, I should go check it out and see what my future will look like.

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Well, let me tell you — Sycuan’s version of Saturday night bingo is definitely not your momma’s bingo. For one, Kozmik BinGLO starts at 11:00 pm (yes pm)! Now I haven’t started my evenings that late until way before B.C. (that’s before children). So obviously, in preparation I took a nap, at least I think I did. I can’t even remember, I’m getting senile already. Once awaken and ready, I pick up my friends Gigi and Dawn and we head on over to Sycuan, which is a good 45 minute drive away. And since it’s dark and I’ve never driven there even in the daytime, once off the freeway I couldn’t tell where we were heading. Time for my nighttime driving glasses. Feeling old again.

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When we arrived at Sycuan at 10:30, and after comedic errors in trying to find a parking spot, I thought we had plenty of time. I was wrong. Little did I know that Kozmik BinGLO is very popular in the east county of San Diego, and this would end up being a sell out night. When we got there, lines to purchase your game cards were wrapped around the slots, and seats in the bingo hall were nowhere to be found. Luckily, my friend Rosey arrived earlier and found us four seats in the back row of the non-smoking section (one thing I hate about casinos is walking through cigarette smoke).

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Oh, did I mention this was a special themed BinGLO night? Yup, it was a Mardi Gras celebration. Not only do people dress up with glow in the dark necklaces, clothing, and bunny ears, but add your Mardi Gras beads, hats and masks, and it’s the making of one heck of a party! They have a DJ playing club music, people walking around on stilts, ladies lifting their shirts (not me…you need to throw beads my way for that). And let’s call us the Back Row Divas, because soon enough we’re all getting up in the space behind our seats and start moving to line dance sequences, making sure we’re in sync and wearing that we’re too cool straight face. There’s plenty of dudes around too, but as usual, the ladies start the fun.

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Settle down now, the DJ reminds us, we’re here to play bingo and we’re already 15 minutes behind schedule. The fun has just begun. Now, if you are even a bit prudish, let me warn you this activity is not for you. There is lots, and I mean lots, of sexual innuendo going on. The silly one (we still act like our teenagers when this is brought up) that everyone loves is when the caller (I loved his dry deep voice by the way) yells out O-69! The whole crowd yells along and giggles. Then the pattern of your numbers reflect the name of each bingo game, such as “bikini”, “reach around”, and “top or bottom.” But those are tame compared to the game called “dikfor.” Well, you can imagine the comments being made by the DJ. Surprisingly, it was the only game of the night where there was only one winner, awarding $1630. For that lucky lady, she knew what’s a dikfor.

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In between the actual bingo games, there were audience participation games. The first one being the “suck it” game. Yes, two women were selected to suck frozen juice bars, and the best sucker won the prize – $500. I think for $500 I’d suck pretty hard too. Then there was the dance off to the big butts song, one guy looked like he was a dog spraying on a fire hydrant. But eventually the crowd chose the pregnant woman as the winner – come on, you’ve got to give to the lady with the baby. The one game that took long and slow to determine a winner, was the one where they had to pass around a bottle between each other’s legs. Now these were strangers, face-to-face, having to maneuver a bottle between their legs. You would think it would be awkward, but not this crowd. They did it with ease, and eventually it kept going and going (and as the DJ pointed out he was already in overtime status), so it was decided to call a four-way tie. All winners.

 

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Let’s just say the night was fun. The music, the games, the chance to win, the dancing, the dressing up, the friendship, good clean simple fun – with sexual overtones of course. You didn’t even miss the alcohol that’s not served.

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Sycuan offers Kozmik BinGLO every Saturday night starting at 11:00. The fourth Saturdays of the month, special themed nights are scheduled. For April it’s a baseball jersey night, and for May the theme is Alice in Wonderland. You can reserve tables for 10, and for the Alice night, a group of 10 gets a table full of sweets! Who’s in? Shall I dress up as Alice with a blond wig?

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Next time. It’s like when you go on vacation to someplace new, you always think about what you will do next time. So, next time I come to BinGLO, and there will be a next time, I plan to arrive much earlier and get seats located closer to all the action. Although us Back Row Divas created our own fun, it’d be nice to see what the DJ was actually referring to. And more the merrier for this activity, so guys and gals, you’re all invited. It would be a great place for birthdays and pre-wedding celebrations. Baby showers, no. And even though I’m not a big buffet person, I would get there even earlier to indulge; then play some of the other casino games. It is a lot closer than Vegas…I wonder what other local casinos may offer a Saturday club-like bingo parlor…hmm, more onsite research is needed.

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Oh, and also next time — I’m going to get some of the paper games too. There’s a reason why those ladies double fist their daubers, it’s kinda boring just watching the computer screen tell you how many more numbers you need. I didn’t even realize I had 72 game cards going on, because silly me didn’t click around the screen to see that there were pages of game card screens to view. There’s a little bit of little old lady in me already. Hey, I can double fist with the best of them.

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Notebook:

 

Sycuan Casino, 5469 Casino Way, El Cajon, www.sycuan.com

 

Kozmik BinGLO is every Saturday night starting at 11:00pm. $10,000+ payouts for the theme nights, each bingo games pays $1,000, fun games pay $500. Actual winnings may vary, as one game had over 20 winners and only the Dikfor lady was a sole winner, with a bonus too (not that kind of bonus, get your minds out of the gutter please!). Regular Saturday nights it’s a $2,500 payout, yes a lot less, but it’s only $8 for paper/$15 for electronic/$25 for 42 game cards. The $10,000 theme night we were there, cost is $10 paper/$20 electronic/$35 special package – which we selected, might as well play big!

 

Regular bingo is played throughout the day, everyday, including earlier evening sessions at 6:15 and 7:00pm. Special promotional days are scheduled each month, so check out their website for monthly updates.

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P.S. My momma told me should would love to go to Kozmik BinGLO…she doesn’t want to be with the old ladies, she wants to be with the young kids, it’s more fun — that’s my momma!

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