Week 30: Wax On, Wax Off…Ouch!

Before we go on, there are some subjects that can be considered TMI (too much information) for some of you folks, especially to my male readers — all one of you. You know who you are, so thank you for your loyal support, but you can stop reading now if you’d like. Otherwise, remember I warned you.



Okay, it’s bikini season (a one-piece for me)…therefore, yes I got a Bikini Wax. Not a big deal, but again, it was something I had never done and which was on my 50 Weeks to 50 list. I had been thinking about doing this for months, years really, and every time I would think about it I would laugh. Because it seems so silly. Why should I bother, who’s going to see? Don’t answer that. Plus I wanted to spend more time at the beach this summer, and I didn’t want to be constantly looking at my pelvic area to make sure no stray hairs were sticking out. Am I the only one that does that?


But again, this year long journey of mine is about trying new things, and waxing my lower regions would be a new experience for me. Occasionally, I do get my eyebrows waxed and I started only after getting my eyebrow virginity broken by the best — Anastasia from Beverly Hills (yes, I am name dropping), who has worked on many celebs — courtesy of my sister’s connections at Orange Coast Magazine (thanks Linda Goldstein). Now I get mine done through Anastasia’s locally trained affiliates in La Jolla at the Brow Lounge (I go to Annie), a short walk away from my office. I remember that getting my eyebrows waxed made such a difference in how I looked, that I wondered would that make my genitalia pretty too.


By now, you all know how much I love my Groupon and Living Social deals. Well, there was a Groupon available to get a Bikini Wax done at Our Little Secret Salon & Beauty Bar, also in La Jolla. After thinking about it and laughing to myself while picturing in my mind what they are going to do to my very private parts, I figured what the heck, it’s just a Bikini Wax, not a full Brazilian where everything is waxed off.


I buy the Groupon (only $17) and I log onto their website and make an appointment for the next day. Boy that was easy; now I can’t chicken out, I’ve paid the money. And I was so busy at the office the next day, I had no time to think about it. I had to hurry up after work and get to the hidden salon.


When they named it Our Little Secret, they meant it. The salon is tucked away in a very nondescript shopping center off Mt. Soledad Road that blends in so nicely with the surrounding community, you would have thought it some homes. I’ve driven by there many times in the past and never noticed it. My appointment was with esthetician Kelly, who was waiting for me and ready to go. I let her know this was my very first time getting a Bikini wax ever — I was a virgin.


Kelly was very nice, explained that I need to take off only my pants, place the towel over me, and I could keep my panties on for a Bikini wax. Really, because I was ready to take them off. When you’ve given birth with doctors and nurses coming in and out of your room looking at the lower regions, showing those parts to strangers doesn’t seem like a big deal…well for medical type reasons…I mean, I wouldn’t show them to some random stranger…what do you think of me…don’t answer that.


Anyhoo, Kelly and I were discussing the procedure and she mentioned I didn’t look that bad. Why thank you Kelly. Embarrassingly I explained that I had attempted to pluck my own hairs, but it was taking forever. Plus, I was always worried that one of my sons would walk in on me (because they haven’t learned the knocking thing yet), and what kind of explanation would I give them.


Before you know it, Kelly was applying wax along the sides of my mound, and whoosh, pulled off the strips. I had a delayed reaction because we were chatting away, then it hit me. Okay, ouch, stings a little, but not too much. For some reason I thought it would be worse than childbirth. But, no it was fine, yes Kelly go on and wax away my pubes. And before you know it, my Bikini wax experience was over. It took less than 15 minutes.

OLS Kelly 

Not so bad. I may have to try the full Brazilian next time. If I do, I’ll be sure not to let you know. But apparently Kelly says more women come in getting a Brazilian than the Bikini. Or I could meet in the middle and get a landing strip wax – a landing strip for who? The after effects of my first waxing experience was minimal, just some redness which oils and lotions helped relieve. The pain was hardly worth all the time I spent getting worried about it. Soon afterwards, I was off shopping.



After all that, no big deal. So ladies, if you’ve thought about waxing down there and was worried about the pain, just do it. OLS can even host parties, shall we have a waxing party? But the things we do for so-called “beauty.” Who ever thought of waxing off our pubic hairs in the first place? Probably some man. And the Brazilian, did some Brazilian man think of that? Did they think of Brazilian Blow Outs too? Who gets that job?


Now I get the “I don’t want hair in my mouth” thing, but then male partners should reciprocate don’t you think? Guys can get some manscaping done, and get a wax around their private parts. Let’s see who’s crying in pain. And think about it, that if your partner wants you all bare down there, isn’t that a little creepy. I mean, then he prefers a pubescent look. What, does he have child molester tendencies? Or trying to live out virgin type fantasies? Weirdo.


Again, it’s the ongoing debate over what is considered beautiful. All vaginas are beautiful, hair or no hair. Ladies, you are all beautiful, inside and out…including your lower regions. Who gets to decide what is beautiful — each of you, for yourself? Celebrate the beauty of your vagina (and control of it too). Do I need to start a Jemma’s Beauty blog, and tell it how it is? The beauty brands wouldn’t like me very much then, because I would probably say why spend your money on such things, go spend it on feeding starving children. But again, here I am getting sucked in by my own curiosity and spending money on such things. I do have a nicely trimmed triangle now, want to see…no, not you! Wait, what’s that…is that a gray…okay, Brazilian next time.


When you think about it, if doing such beauty treatments makes you feel more beautiful on the outside, then your increased self-esteem makes you feel better on the inside. Right after my wax, a friend saw me driving down the street and texted me that I looked real happy. I texted back (not while driving) that “I just got a bikini wax!” Ahh, the little things that make us happy.


The Brow Lounge, 933 Silverado Street, La Jolla, CA 92037, 858.459.9800, http://www.browlounge.net. They are known for their brow shaping. Other services are waxing, skin treatments, make-up, and spray tans.

Our Little Secret Salon & Beauty Bar (OLS), 6437 Caminito Blythefield, Suite A, La Jolla, CA 92037, 858.454.7444, www.ourlittlesecretsd.com

Bikini Wax regularly priced at $35, Landing Strip $45, and Brazilian $50. Besides all types of waxing, OLS is a full service salon (for men and women) and offers make-up application, eyelash extensions, facials, spray tanning, and hair services – cuts, styles, coloring, updo, and blow outs. Membership packages available. OLS Happy Hour specials each day – check website for info.

OLS can also add a Vajazzle or body art if you get a Brazilian – that is a design element down there. OLS Vajazzle designs use Swarovski crystals, and high quality glitter for the body art. Perfect for that special private occasion, or Friday nights.

If any men are still reading this, wasn’t this very informative? I try to provide a pubic service.


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